Stalked, bothered and placing blame where it lies.

So, I had a call from someone whom I don't really care to associate with anymore. Thinking that this person would realize her mistakes and act cordial, I picked up the phone.

Colossally dumb mistake.

Instead I was greeted with the usual derision, was the target of blame and somehow the conduit for all that is evil in her world. This was the "normal" call that I get. Continuing the patterns of a junkie.

Now, as I sit watching the sequel to the Leon Isaac Kennedy blockbuster, Penitentiary, starring L.I.K, Mr. T and Ernie Hudson as hardcore Geoffrey Rush, I realize that the blame game doesn't stop with the addict. Truth is, I blame myself. My anger has been over letting her into my life. I saw signs and ignored them. I trusted where there should have been a vacuum. I loved where there should have been none given. I invited this into my life, now I want it gone.

I can't blame the addict for my problems. She was a daily function of existence. A happening in my life. Instead, I need to recognize that I have problems. Defects in my personality that cause me to seek a fixer-upper. I take on people's problems to find a cure. Problem is, that cure is not real. It's a panacea for a disease that doesn't exist. I am not the Jonas Salk of the broken people.

I have to go now. There are a bunch of women with big asses on screen that are distracting me.